Thread: Code of Points For Men

I found this interesting, and extremely true.
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In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Simple Duties:

You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
In the snow (+8)
But return with beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

Social Engagements At a Party:

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-8)

Her Birthday:

You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted in all of the colors of your favorite sports team (-10)

A Night Out With the Boys:
Go with a pal (-5)
The pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Mustang (-10)
With a personalized license plate that reads GR8 N BED (-15)

A Night Out:

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called DeathCop 9 (-3)
Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

Your Physique:

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-800)

Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)


The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?"

You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

What do we say to 'do I look fat'?

any response will get you knocked down in points, because she won't think you mean it, will rage at you for it and will not take it as the compliment it's meant to be, hence "any other response". It's one of many no-win questions

my score:
simple duties

0 (i refuse to add pillows that aren't functional)
0 (i replace the roll)
(does not apply)
+5

social engaements
-2

her birthday
+1 (i hate sports bars)

night out w/ boys
-5

a night out
+4

your physique
+10 (navy standards, now good for something ^^)

communication
+5, (or +100 if the tv was already off)

big question
aw crap, -20

total score:
-2

sheeiiiiit...

that last question just SHATTERS your chances of a possitive score. ah well.

Here's the thing about "Does this make me look fat"

Girls shouldn't HAVE to ask that. If we have to ask, you aren't making us feel comfortable. So there you go.

I'm not sure you're meant to take it as a quiz, toko

"Honey, you don't look fat. You ARE fat. Different verb."

And to quote a random 4channer: I leave the toilet seat down, then piss all over it.

No girl has ever asked me if they look fat. I guess that's a good sign?

Bit of both, truth be told.

Originally Posted by Silver

"Honey, you don't look fat. You ARE fat. Different verb."

And to quote a random 4channer: I leave the toilet seat down, then piss all over it.

I hate it when guys do that...total pet peeve. Especially when my roommate's boyfriend will use our bathroom and then not put the seat down. That's just rude.

I asked a guy if I looked fat once, and wow that was a mistake. I'll never do it again. He told me yes and that felt horrible. So yeah, I don't fish for compliments anymore

What's so hard about putting a seat down? It's not rocket science.

And you got it in the right places.

I guess it's not taking into consideration that girls live here, not boys? I don't know. Girls though do gross things. Like my Roommate Lizzie throwing her tampons out in the bathroom. I don't wanna see that. I would be embarrassed if she (or anyone else for that matter...) saw my stuff in the trash...throw that away in your own trash can in your room....

Well, there's the whole guest aspect of it, I guess.

I guess he thinks he's entitled to leave the seat up.

Well, you say she beats him, so perhaps he's entitled to something.

The rules are slightly rigged...

Wouldn't the girl lose points if she obligated her partner to watch a movie he doesn't like?
What if in a party, the girl starts chatting with her old friend who happened to be a magazine model?

The thing that girls don't seem to get, concerning the whole toilet seat thing, is that boys just don't see the problem. Simple as that. We see literally nothing wrong with leaving the seat up, and if anyone's ever explained to me exactly why it's such a thing for girls, I sure as hell don't remember.

We have to SIT on the toilet no matter what we have to do....So late at night if I stumble into the bathroom and the toilet seat's up, I'm gonna fall in or I'm gonna get water on me and that is not fun.