Thread: Tales of Animeb

so, if it's for his dearest hina, Ryo would be at his doorstep right now...wearing hotpants

One week, heh? I accept your challenge, Hina!

Amazing, it's almost too good to be true. I thought hina would at least demand nana's > >

lol, hina's roar has awakened Chao.
Now just hope for Ryo

has it, Yon? has it really? Chao hasn't produced any cake, so we can't be sure it's awakened her enthusiasm

Someone should go and poke Ryo and at least get him to have a look in here Then you'll get me story. Hope it lives up to its billing now And Ryo isn't a non-forum, IRC-only guy. He's still got an account on here

bit of a stretch for me to say otherwise, isn't it, considering she's still got an account and spent years here and everything? I do hope Ryo hasn't forgotten about what he said in here

The Tales' site has been updated.

I hope we can post here the 15th Tale before Christmas. Please look forward to it, it's worth the wait.

Hmm... I suppose if it's put like that...
I can't say no, can I?

Aiya, this will be troublesome...

OK. It appears my challenges have been accepted O_o I've got to post it now

--------------------

In the realm of Yanimeb, where Death stalked the land in fiery robes bedecked with oranges, they tell a tale of honour, valour and pantsu...

The Tale of Sir Katzalot

The beautiful Princess, Mandi was her name, gazed thoughtfully from her ivory tower. She was heir to all she surveyed, and that was the problem. While she waited to accede to the throne, all she had to do was wander the corridors of the tower, doing the odd piece of needlework as befits a noble lady, or planning the royal succession. She admitted she had to work on this and to be honest, it took up much of her time. Daydreams were fine, and she often enjoyed them - a little too much. Her mind often ran riot when considering her future princes, as thoughts were not constrained by anything such as law, so more than one was allowed. The potential suitors in the citadel below were beneath one such as her. "But for the chance to have one such beneath me...", she pondered, concocting schemes to draw the attention of strong and handsome men. Then she hit on the perfect opportunity - her kingdom hosted an annual tournament! She knew that only the fittest - and firmest - who entered ever prevailed. The princess would take the hand of whomever was her champion. And whatever came attached as well.

As the tournament progressed, the princess weighed up her chances, and they did not look good. Really not good.

All the knights in the kingdom turned out to be on an extended hiatus from Yanimeb! Most cried off because of further schooling in the noble arts, but when would they get a better chance to prove themselves against their peers than a tournament? The princess raged. One competitor from a foreign land caught her eye, however. He had worked his way quietly and without fuss through to the finals of the contest, and stood but two bouts away from winning her hand. The other three contenders slumped before her, grinning at the thought she would soon be their prize. This other though, carried himself higher and with considerably more elan than these smiths and bricklayers.

The princess had caught K's eye too. He was here in his master's stead, and was not himself of noble blood. It seemed this was no barrier to entry for this particular tourney though, and when he heard the prize was the hand of the princess of the kingdom of Yanimeb, he could but think; 'Oh great. I'm better than these yahoos, and I'll be lumbered with a dog. No wonder Master sent me!' So he fought his way through determined but useless opposition, and was presented to the lady of the day as a semi-finalist. His mouth had dropped open 'neath his helm when he espied the beauty and had been tongue-tied when spoken to...

Far from being offended, the fair princess was transfixed. Here was the strong silent stallion she had dreamed of!

Unfortunately, K had drawn the citadel's blacksmith in his round, and while the princess waved to him in his first headlong charge, perfectly crafted to unseat his challenger, his concentration wavered as he pictured her beckoning him to join her on their honeymoon bed...

The burly beastly blacksmith's lance cracked through K's shield and threw him ten feet backwards off his horse, splintered shards flying from the impact with his breastplate!

Dazed, the poor K struggled to his knees, took one longing glimpse toward the princess and didn't see the blacksmith's hammer strike down on him and seal his bucket helm onto his head with a *claaaaaaaangggg!*

Dismayed, the princess presided over the final of the tournament. The closing ceremony was abruptly halted, however, when a cry rang out from the watching crowds.

"There is a dragon in the mountains!"

A bedraggled messenger trooped through the throng. "Is it true, is there a dragon?" "Madam!", cried the exhausted messenger, "would I have raced to the citadel for a mere midget attack? I think not. The foul demon's tentacles defiled several neighbouring villages this past week. They say it can only be appeased by a virgin sacrifice!"

All eyes turned fearfully to the princess. "Dear princess! Where will we find a virgin to sate the dragon?"

Ignoring this but pouting slightly, the princess stated "the more pressing problem is where to find someone to slay the dragon? Will none accept this noble quest?"

K, having succeeded in finally freeing himself from his helm, and seeking the favour of the Princess, strode forth and muzzily proclaimed: "I accept, oh Mandi fair! It befits a knight of the realm to bend to his country's every whim. I will find what you seek!"

The Princess, touched by her knight's confidence, beamed hugely. "Take this token, Sir K, "Katzalot", and may it bring you comfort and solace on your journey ahead". She thumped the machine beside her, snapped the can open and held up to the watching crowd her token. "It does me great pride to have my princess' favour, milady", said the knight. The newly-titled Sir K affixed the token to the tip of his lance where it fapped in the breeze. Mandipantsu. Such a banner was he unworthy to ride under, Katzalot knew, so he could only justify this gesture by completing the quest set out for him.

"Onward to glory!"

Sir K rode out, a juniper blossom set atop his helm.

After many days of travel, our knight was weak from his journey, having seen neither friend nor foe as he crossed the land, wooded in places, others forsaken and barren, yet neither showing signs of life. Eventually, he happened upon a shelter under a large conifer, if such a term could be employed for the ramshackle roof and timbers, made of broken picture frames. 'It might keep the rain off', K thought, and knocked on the half-open door.

To his great surprise, the door was opened. "Yes?", came a voice from a hat far too large for the body on which it was perched. "Are you a forest dweller, young ma-... hum-... being?", queried the knight. "I AM a human, thank you for checking", said the voice. The hat was pushed up (though a crane may have been more usefully employed; it really WAS an impressive hat) to reveal what was said to be a young man, a little younger than K himself. After introductions, it turned out the boy's name was Yonathen. He even produced a certificate with a statement signed by the King himself that the balance of probability held that he was in fact human. "Why are you out here, in this... shack of images?"

"I used to be the King's jester up til a few months ago. Full cap and bells and everything, with a hey nonny-no, I'faith nuncle... And such. Now I've nothing left in the world but this enormous pile of images and the clothes I stand up in", said Yon, sadly. "Why, whatever happened?", K asked. "Oh, I was cast from royal service when I nonny'ed when I should have heyed. It took days to find the King's crown and favourite 'nana. They still haven't found the King... Anyway about that time, the Dark came down and attacked some nearby villages. With the King gone, I was considered a bad omen."

"The King is gone?!", Sir K exclaimed. "How can you mislay a king?" "I don't know, milord. I wish I did, for it must be terrible for the princess with her father not around"

With mention of the princess, the knight's head snapped up, and he thought to his errand. Then he looked down at Yon the fool. "Bad omen or not, how would you like to accompany me on my quest to slay a dragon?"

The two embarked at first light, and spent the next week trudging across leagues of mostly empty land, punctuated by the odd settlement, still far from anything that could be called a city. The odd thing about them was that the male population of these villages were all persistently distracted, and had a cowed air about them. The female population were either preoccupied, or in the case of the younger ones (mostly), VERY occupied, sometimes while in the middle of a conversation.

On the journey, Yon commented more on the general hearsay involving the monster in the mountains. Travellers had passed him in his months of exile, and they were almost always in a hurry. They seemed articulate and there was a feeling they had left those affected by the monster behind, searching for new settlements themselves. They talked of the darkness never being far behind. They talked of an evil ruler in the Dark Tower. They talked of the h...

"We'll find Mii, he'll know what's going on", said Yon, confidently, as they entered another small hamlet hemmed by a pocket of elms. "Mii? Who is he, and why would he be of help to us?", said K. Being from a far-off land he was finding out information all the time and trying to make sense of it all. "Mii the minstrel", added Yon. "He passes by fairly regularly, trying to find his fortune between cities and these towns". "Mii is a poet? A troubadour?" "Oh, no. He just likes chocolate", smiled Yon. "She is a soothsayer, and is interested in finding the truth of the world in the stars. She keeps his ears to the ground"

The changes in pronoun were perplexing our poor hero, but to be honest, so did Mii. The man, when they found him - "sporting a recent black eye after an altercation with a barmaid's hose", so he said - wasn't exactly a man. Nor was she a woman. It seems Mii had a hard time staying the same sex as you talked to her. There was something indefinable about the way she changed. Others were very definable; for example, if you blinked, his breasts grew and if you looked away again, her chest was visibly flatter. It made it hard for people to concentrate.

After introductions were made and drinks ordered, Sir K learned of a growing gloom that had crossed Yanimeb over the past few years.

"The very dirt on which we stood was split asunder, the shadows crawling from every dark corner, every pit, every hollow. The kingdom didn't know what had hit it. Many died, thousands fled, those who didn't suffered greatly after the Trouble. People all but gave up living. We thought, we prayed we'd seen the last of it. It's taken a long time to rebuild and none want the Bad Times back". As Mii spoke her tale, the inn grew quiet. They had heard the tale many times, lived through it, most of them, and it was heartening to see a stranger's reaction. Also, Mii had a way of speaking that meant you heard his capitalization.

"The shadows grow deep again, but there are different effects now... Entire villages have deserted, others are... repopulating at an alarming rate. The dragon stalks the land, tentacles and teeth reaching far. The King is gone, to tackle the fear, some say, yet the past few months the attacks have been focused. Those with a tendency to wander have noticed things", she said. "Its is said though, that the creature lives at the foot of Boor'Udan, the Black Mountain, spouting fire, in the centre of the Yellow Lands..."

Towards the end of the saga, Mii's voice had started to waver and become slurred. He could hold his drink well, but then it paid her back, it seems. Sir K turned while Mii slumped off her stool in a paralytic stupor, and declared, in the way of knights: "On, faithful Yon! We save the King and his kingdom!", and made his way out of the inn. "Faithful, my backside!", Yon muttered, arranging with the barmaid's that it was Mii's round, whenever she woke up.

As the journey wound on, village stops became less and less frequent, and those houses the travellers came across were abandoned, some pantries still fully stocked with food. Sir K felt obliged to leave a small amount of money in places where they used the dwellings overnight. Soon the grim forbidding walls of the mountains closed in on either side. They were nearing their quest's end, for good or bad.

There was a small clearing in front of them. Sir K and Yon had but to cross a small bank of grass dotted with puddles and holly bushes before the climb into the black mountains. It seemed odd to Sir K why, when they'd run out of green fields miles ago, such foliage clung here on the very edge of the range. They soon found out when Yon capered onto the grass with a dopplering scream to follow.

From K's point of view, Yon had suddenly shrunk very small and faded away as well, as if seen from a long way away. He finished tying his horse to a rock as a makeshift hitching post. Drawing a deep breath and keeping his gaze fixed on his companion, Sir K stepped onto the grass.

The step just kept on going, and the knight landed heavily on Yon. Picking himself up, K was prepared to swear he'd fallen at least ten feet. The area they had set foot in was MASSIVE. The horizon was still on the horizon, but it seemed much further away than it had a minute ago. 'We've come all this way, just to be thwarted on the doorstep!', came the despairing thought raging around in K's brain. He helped Yon up from where he'd squashed him, and they restarted their trek.

Presently, in this distorted grainy landscape they came across a lake land area, punctuated with large and thriving woods. Yon commented that it looked like the grass and puddles but from much closer to. Sir K wondered which way they'd gone: whether they had set foot in a magical place bigger inside than it first appeared, or whether they had been shrunk. Bewildered and exhausted, the pair stumbled to the nearest lake's shore, and drank deep from the water. Not long after, sleep overtook them both.

Sir K awoke, every muscle in his body screaming in protest as he moved. He felt like he'd been wearing his armour non-stop for weeks! As his sight cleared, he found that he wasn't where he'd remembered falling, at the lake's edge, but in a small grove of trees. Yon was nowhere to be seen, but that was what worried the knight. The trees were mostly thin but tightly packed together and they seemed to hold the ever-present mist that was in this place. It was almost as if he was in clouds. But to his knowledge clouds didn't suddenly disgorge beautiful visions which certainly didn't then proceed to strip you naked and flow sensuously up your body...

"Wha-huh? What's happening?", stammered K. Finger to her lips, the lithe and lissome figure of the water nymph glided up to the level of K's face. "We are here to shower you with with earthly pleasures and carnal delights, noble sir, for to steady your resolve for the trials ahead", came a voice that dripped honey and seared red hot trails down his libido. "My name is CS, and we are yours to treat as you will before daybreak". This proposition certainly appealed to the knight, but something was nagging at him, despite the many distractions that were happening all over him. "W-We? Why do you say we?", he asked, then words caught in his throat. "my friend kanburs is always fashionably late", CS purred, as a second set of hands caressed slowly up his right leg...

In the morning, Sir K woke up groggy and heavy headed. By rights, he should be feeling completely shattered. The events of last night were scattered and scratchy in these dawn moments, but after the fantastic rubdown had come a wonderful feast with a very special dessert. The nymphs had risen from the lake, of that he was sure, but when he awoke the lake was merely a puddle behind him, and his pillow a rock, having previously been a comfortable chest or two. He looked around and saw a horrible sight before him. Aside from the treacherous looking climb ahead of them, Yon had squelched forward, looking for all the world like he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. "If you recall, milord K, I gave you the dry patch with the rock to use and I had to sleep near the puddle. It turns out you kick in your sleep and booted me into the puddle! I'm soaked to the skin and miserable! But let's hear how you slept. Was your rock comfortable?", said Yon, with barely concealed loathing. "I... I was visited by eldritch maidens (well, of that I'm not sure) of unearthly beauty who took me to a land of pleasures, feasting, comfort and heat", said K, feeling that honesty was the best policy. Yon now went into a cruel sulk. All that he muttered on the trek up into the mountains was a litany on the lines of "I wish heavenly visions would visit me in my sleep..."

Despite the relaxation the nymphs had instilled into his muscles, the noble lord K was troubled in his heart. He knew what awaited him wasn't going to be easy to overcome. The evil creature spreading darkness, focused recently after the king had ventured here... He couldn't get the thought out of his head that something had happened to the king, and this was a secondary reason for his quest. He would find out what had happened to the king of Yanimeb, and return with news for his beautiful daughter. K was worried. Yon would be no help in combat, even though he had been a great help and excellent company on the long journey. As they crossed the mountains, Yon was getting progressively more miserable, and K's concerns weighed heavy on his mind.

Resting from his exertions, our knight is visited in his dreams by an Angel, a vision in blinding white. All detail below her face obscured, with tantalizing glimpses here and there. "I stand here before you, brave knight, as an arbiter for peace in this troubled land. Let it be known I do not wholly disapprove of path the rulers of Boor'Udan are taking, as the world could do with more love spread in such a way, but their methods are dangerous and wreckless".

The Angel directs our hero to the Passage to Heaven, a dangerous rocky path through one more mountainous valley with sheer drops on either side. "To defeat the Dark, you must unveil the Light. I cannot intervene for you directly, but I give you arms with which to slay your foe. When you awaken, your sword and shield will be forged anew. I pray you will not need their powers. Follow this path, else you will not reach your destination. The Yellow One has watched your progress with growing fear and has routed you through a circuitous approach. He conjured the dimension pocket at the base of the range, and had you been left to your own senses you may never have escaped. I sent the maidens to you to rebuild your esteem and your strength, and to guide you towards your release", the Angel claimed, in tones that rang inside K's head without ever passing through his ears. "They certainly helped towards my release, O Angel", muttered the knight, with a cough. "I didn't teach them that one, I must admit. They will be disciplined shortly, you have my word", intoned the Angel, with a glint in her eye. 'Such a malevolent gleam in the eye of one sent from above', pondered a grateful Sir K, and asked for one more aid from the Angel as he stirred from his sleep, her visage fleeing from him as he was no longer dreaming...

End - Part One

Oh my, that is a long one, have to take my time to read it hina.
I scrolled through it and what do you know, i immediately noticed my name.
How selfcentered can one be

I told you Ryo would come back for his darling hina, did he show up in his hotpants? =3

Cheers on the update Chao

Edit:

Spoiler

So i'm a fallen Jester huh -_- interesting story, i like how my character develops, tell me, will i try and kill K

Jesus H. Christ.

And Buddha S. Gautama.

Originally Posted by Assistant Pedowookie

Oh my, that is a long one, have to take my time to read it hina.
I scrolled through it and what do you know, i immediately noticed my name.
How selfcentered can one be

it is a bit of a trek fro start to middle, I agree, but people demanded this of me, so I couldn't disappoint. I just hope it's readable and enjoyable Spotted a couple of spelling errors already, which I'd hoped I'd weeded out.

And alarmingly self-centred, it seems. Glad you got through it all unscathed

Originally Posted by Yon

I told you Ryo would come back for his darling hina, did he show up in his hotpants? =3

If he was wearing hotpants I didn't see 'em

Yon:

Spoiler

Well, you'll have to find out when I post the next bit... won't ye?

Originally Posted by Katajainen

Jesus H. Christ.

And Buddha S. Gautama.

Don't be like that. I cut it in half to post it. Another avalanche of words is ready to go when people are ready to read it

Originally Posted by hinarei

Don't be like that.

Did I forget to mention I had read the whole thing, I mean the whole half, before being like that?

Originally Posted by Angel

I didn't teach them that one, I must admit. They will be disciplined shortly, you have my word.

Originally Posted by Dingo

Oh, wicked, bad, naught evil Zoot! Oh, she is a bad person, and she must pay the penalty!

Originally Posted by Katajainen

Did I forget to mention I had read the whole thing, I mean the whole half, before being like that?

Yes. Yes you did Hope it went down well... or something like that.

Angel's line was rather a pointer to that, yes Nicely played Can only hope we find the Grail at the end of it...

Originally Posted by hinarei

If he was wearing hotpants I didn't see 'em

Yon:

Spoiler

Well, you'll have to find out when I post the next bit... won't ye?

Don't be like that. I cut it in half to post it. Another avalanche of words is ready to go when people are ready to read it

You bastard, don't tell me I'M going to meet him in hotpants O_o
Also you could've just posted it in quote, i'd rather read the whole damn story than to wait for part 2, which i might not even read (due to the damn Ryo rumor)

Lack of Toko greatly wounds the Toko's ego :c