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Well from re-reading your fanfic over the weekend I found that I think you're just kind of following the the begining of Love Hina a little bit too exact in your story. I honestly think that's bad unless that's what you intended too and in that case you've done a top notch job. Although an advice for your first chapter is that you point out that it's Keitaro's point of view because I got confused at that until I read your second chapter.
As I said before I still stick to it that you're really great at writting in Su-sama and Keitaro-kun's point of view, it's amazing how you do it so well.
I see no other things to say about the story thus far except for some minor spelling errors and such. Although I still can't wait to see what happens in the story.
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Merry Christmas from Gensokyo
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